Bondage means getting tied up! Yes it's scarey - to a point. Who is tying you up? Do you trust them?

• If not.
  Then why are you letting them tie you up? You only let someone tie you up that you trust. Ok, hold on a minute sister! Some of you have been shown this page because someone wants to do bondage with you, tie you up. Hey, if you are serious about that person i hope you trust them. If your relationship grows the way that we can only hope that it will grow then we are talking lifetime relationship here. Seems to me that someone you are possibly going to spend the rest of your life with deserves your trust, right? Don't use this trust thing as a cop out.
• If so.
  then the only thing standing in your way is fear. That's fine. It shows that you are a thinking individual. Let's look at bondage some more and get familiar with it. You are about to learn some things about yourself...

Does this second picture seem a little less scary?
It should. There's no gag. Gags are something that those of us into bondage play are very careful about. When you wear a gag the person doing bondage with you should always be in sight of you - or you should be in their sight - pretty much constantly. Here's some safety tips reguarding gags...

• You should be in the other person's sight constantly.
• If the gag tastes funny or is making you choke then off it comes!
• Before putting the gag on you and your partner should have some kind of signal to let each other know there is a problem with the gag. Usually snapping your fingers three times in a row quickly is the signal - any noise or quick movement three times in rapid sucession will do for a signal.

Ok, that's the negative side, now for the fun part: Some women like to talk dirty and find it hard to speak aloud what they want to say. Gags are good news for you. While a gag actually does a terrible job of muffeling sounds it does garble what you say enough so that it may not be possible for anyone to understand you, therefore you get to say whatever strikes your fancy!

Guys like us in gags because they say we look cute in them. i think it's because they think they are going to get the final word!

Gags are not a must-do part of bondage so if you try one and don't like it then a gag is out. Gags are something you grow into. i used to never use them, but here lately i kinda like to be gagged. A year from now i may decide that i don't like them again, my choice.

"Collar?"
Purely optional. I doubt if you will be asked to wear one, especially on your first sorjorn into bondage. There are a lot of different games that we play in bondage. Some people kinda like being a submissive. You may not like that idea. If you don't then don't do it.

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But supose he does...

Then the two of you decide together. If you don't want to wear a collar or a gag or what ever then you don't have to. If you are willing to allow it then that's cool too. Realistically the more you let him do the more you will get out of watching his happy face. It's a compromise. Just don't feel like you HAVE to do everything his way. You are suposed to have as much fun as he is going to have.

Do this in your everyday life and you are doing good, even excellent. Do this as a slave and you are still only excellent, but it's a lot more fun!

But i really like a cute set of buns - on a guy...

i hope some of this is starting to make sense. When you let yourself be tied up you are not becoming less of a person. If anything you are more. Whoever ties you up has got to respect the faith that you are showing in them. Do not treat this lightly. You are giving a lot, expect them to notice, they will.

Bondage is extreme. It hightens the moment. Is it any wonder that the sex is better? Look at the opposite end of the spectrum for a sec. Imagine having sex while reading a magazine (kinda weird, but hang with me.) What does this tell your partner? It says you aren't very interested. How interested is he going to be? How memorable is it going to be for him? Obviously not much.

Now get dolled up in the outfit he loves to see you in the most. Let him tie you up and he's in seventh heaven. Now, is he going to do his ever loving best to see to it that you get happy? He knows that if you don't have fun then the odds on you doing this again for him are slim to none. He's going to do his best to satisfy you. That's why you are really the one in control.

Bondage is fun !

Ok, we have gone through some of the gear that he might want you to wear and i hope i've calmed your nerves. Bondage can be as simple as sticking both of your hands in a sock and pretending to be tied up, and bondage can involve expensive straight jackets and leg irons as well as a well equipted dungeon. The principle is the same. You give more, you get more.

It's understandable that at first you may be frightened of handcuffs or gags or such and that's fine. The idea is to do what you are comfortable with.

Well, do more than is comfortable. Part of the fun with bondage is stretching your limits. If you can stand handcuffs then please please please try them. Remember the reading the magazine analogy? Sure, you can turn down any part of bondage, but remember this; anything you turn down is something you are missing out on!

That's to say there is a lot to it. You will learn good things from bondage. You will learn, for example, how to have fun. You will learn to plan ahead, to talk to your partner, to open up.

i've been talking about you and bondage for awhile so take a break and i'll tell you about me and bondage.

i know that i have been putting the Hard Sell on you and i want to say that i don't mean to. My only excuse is that i love it so much and i want to share with you what i have found.

i love handcuffs, have i mentioned that? Yep! Anyway, i was with this one guy and i kept getting bruises on my wrists from the handcuffs. Bruises are a no-no in bondage. Anything that hurts you is a no-no. This includes mental things, social standing, anything. i was all upset with this guy over the bruises i kept getting, my folks even noticed the bruises. Me and the guy had an arguement and i was about to give up on doing bondage ever again with him.

i went home mad and he was upset too. Later he called me and got me to try to help him figure out what we were doing wrong. He was very apoligetic, sincere, and in earnest about finding a resolution. We began to work things out.

Most handcuffs are made big enough for a guy. On my wrists they can be tightened down until there are no more notches and i can still turn my wrists around in them. There's no way to make them really tight on me. The bruises, we discovered, were coming from when i would struggle as we made love. He had not been at fault, except that he was such a great lover that he made me twist and turn so bad that i was hurting myself and didn't even know about it - until the bruises began to show.

Handcuffs are cold hard steel and i'm not. Because of the small contact point with my wrists a lot of pressure was going to one or two small spots. That's how a bruise is made. We switched over to chains durring love-making to spread out the contact area and the bruises stopped.

This is an example of comunication and co-operation. Pretty good things to learn about and use, huh? SO WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED?

• You don't have to do everything he asks for.
• If you do as much as you can though, the rewards are great!
• It's Safe Sane and consensual.
• Comunication is encouraged in bondage.
• Consent is mandatory.
• Co-operation is wonderful!